...and so I've learned=0)

Me today























Me at nineteen


Earlier this week I was training a new employee and one of my regular customers leaned over the counter to tell me, "Now if you want anyone to think you are a day over 19, you'll have to cut your hair again..." This is something I hear frequently well, not about the hair, but something similar to this. I usually have someone asking me if I am still in school or telling me "you are too young, you wouldn't know." I know at some point I will enjoy everyone thinking I'm at least 10 years younger than I really am. For now it's kind of annoying, I've lived a lot of life since 19 and I would just like a little credit for what I've experienced. Here's a few things I've learned in this journey we all call life:

1. If your boyfriend/partner/significant other treats you like crap he is abusive. I unfortunately know this from first hand. Please watch for the warning signs and don't find yourself in this situation. If he treats his family with disrespect, don't be with him. My ex-husband was so mean to his Mom...yelled at her, took advantage of her, never spoke to her with respect. I wish I had known to pay more attention to this before hand. Everything wrong in his life is the fault of someone else. He couldn't hold a job because of the boss, or because of the co-workers, never because he couldn't get it together enough to work it out. If he ever raises a hand to you or is rough with you or calls you names , leave. I've been called every name in the book (none of them nice), I've been thrown, kicked, punched, hair pulled out of my head, made to feel absolutely worthless, I've also survived. The day I realized I deserved to be treated with respect and knew that I didn't need him to live my life, was the day I gained my freedom.

2. Raising kids is so much easier if you don't stress over little things. I have three and have spent the last 4 years as a single Mom. Yes, I have Lee who is every bit as helpful as a man who has never had any kids, but I've learned what is truly important. If your house isn't spotless, who cares!=0) I work, I come home, I help out with homework, make dinner, put kids to bed and wind down to start again tomorrow...taking the kids to school, getting ready for work...sometimes my house is only cleaned on the weekends. Sometimes we pick through piles of laundry through the whole week before it gets put away on my days off. My kids are happy though and well adjusted and every spare minute we have isn't spent trying to catch up on housework. =0) Let your kids be themselves. If that involves wearing a set of chinchilla ears to school sometimes then so be it. If your daughter insists that she needs to wear polka dots and stripes at the same time then let her. Hey, as long as they have the same colors in them, then go for it I say!=0) If your kids won't eat anything except cold cereal, pizza, pb and j, oh well! This is why someone invented the multi-vitamin! Have them try new things, but don't stress if they don't like it or won't eat it.=0)

3. Not everyone is going to like you or what you have to say. You know I'm opinionated, you know I only am if I know what I'm talking about. You are not going to hurt my feelings if you don't like me or what I have to say. This is where having some self confidence is quite useful.=0) As long as I am trying my best to be the best kind of me there is, I no longer let myself beat myself up over stuff that can't be helped or that I messed up on. I'm happy, I have so many good things going for me and I can handle anything that comes my way. (Hopefully)=0)

4. I have the very best parents ever! Always understanding and willing to help me out, I couldn't have asked for better parents, ever! I wished I had listened to them closer when I was younger, I probably could have saved myself a lot of grief if I had taken there advice more often. They support me and are not judgmental. They helped me escape an abusive marriage and regain the custody of my kids and then helped me out with rent and a car until I was able to get on my feet again. Mom and Dad you rock! I love you so much!=0)

Now that 12 years have passed since I was actually nineteen, I know that I've lived so much life since then. Knowing that whatever I've faced has strengthened my character and no matter how much I protest, I'm always going to look much younger than I am. I know better though, even if I don't look any older, people are going to think what they will and so, I've learned...=0)